Over Already?

And we had been playing so well of late! But that is the nature of this lovely but often cruel game of bocce.

The day started off on a promising note. We held off the strong bashing skills of Balls Deep and won 7-5. We all rolled well. I was the weak link and I wasn't half bad. SHR placed every ball exactly where she wanted. Dani was very good throughout and Mitch dominated after the first frame.

Too bad the fun times didn't continue into the second game. A 7-1 spanking wasn't fun. But we weren't rolling that poorly. Balls Deep rolled really well. It seemed like every single time they needed to knock one of our balls out, they did.

Game 2 lineup
Erik and Mitch
SHR and Dani

Game 3
I replaced Dani. We took a quick 3-0 lead. And then the problems began.

Balls Deep were out of balls but they had the point. We had two balls left. If we could knock their closest ball out, we could get four points and win. However, there was plenty of space left to put up a two-spot and give Rod a commanding 5-0 lead. In our last game of the regular season, Erik faced a somewhat (but it was Game 2, not 3 and we already had the point) similar situation. This is how I described the play that followed from that game:

I especially loved Game 2 when we fell behind 3-0 before tying it 3-3. Then in the next frame, we had one point already scored with one ball left. The Mamalukes had a ball very close to our closest. But our other two balls were pretty close as well. Erik looked at Mitch and me and said, "I'm going to try something crazy here."

And he did. It was crazy good is what it was. Perhaps the best shot I've seen all season. With precision, he knocked the enemy ball clean out while keeping all four of our balls near the pallino. A four-spot! The end. Erik awarded himself the Hot Rod with his lovely last roll.

With visions of that amazing roll, Erik tried it again. This is what happened. Not quite what he had in mind. Oh well, we still had a ball left. Unfortunately, Mitch tried the exact same thing. Again, to no avail. Balls Deep were on the board.

This proved to be an important momentum shift. SHR and I gave up a point. Erik and Mitch gave up another and all of a sudden it was tied at 3.

No matter. I was happy that it was only 3-3. We were very lucky that they hadn't already put us away with our three straight frames of uninspired play. But their penchant for successful bashing had disappeared at just the right moment for us and we still had a chance.

Then we started taking it to them. SHR and I put up a point and then Erik and Mitch added two more points, powered by this Mitch roll.

We felt good with a 6-3 lead. Bring on the final 8! Not so fast there. Rod has had to learn many times not to put a notch in that ol' bedpost before actually bedding the lady or two or three. Speaking of loving each other, Balls Deep were way in love with each other during the match. Lots of PDA, boys with girls, boys with boys, girls with girls, any sort of combo available. Rod wasn't sure if he approved or not even though it seems like something Rod would be into. Rod was conflicted.

Henry found more interesting things about the bocce court than the game itself.
Anyway, back to the action ...

SHR and I tried to put it away but all of a sudden - two bad things began to occur.
1. Balls Deep's stellar rolling came back when they most needed it.
2. Our luck began to run out.

After my first good roll, they placed their ball right near the pallino. SHR and I had three straight rolls all end up in the same rut. Then Balls Deep did the same thing with their next two. I was hoping they would only end up with one point and it seemed that way even after they rolled their final ball. But after measuring, they were a little closer and got two points. Every single measuring moment in this match went against us.

It went back to Mitch and Erik and they had a very similar frame to the one SHR and I just rolled. They expended all of their balls with Balls Deep having three left. Only one more needed to get closer to end our season. It was nerve wracking. This is what happened.

We got lucky again. It came down to the final frame tied at 6.

Balls Deep started with an amazing amazing amazing roll. They put their ball right on the pallino deep deep deep. SHR and I spent our first three rolls trying to dislodge the two.

It came down to the last roll. Even if I got closer somehow, they still had three balls left. But I didn't care about that. I'd worry about it later.

I rolled an excellent shot. It hit their ball, it hit the pallino. For a brief moment, I thought we would live for another roll or two and force their hand.

But it wasn't meant to be. The rollback went their way and that was it.

Ouch. I can't believe we didn't even make it to the final weekend.
Final Record: 3-4
This was our first losing season since the first season - the last time we really had to find ourselves as the season went along. It was also the last season we didn't make it to at least the final 8.
With Dancey Dance On: 0-3
With Rock On: 3-1

This was the first time Team Rod didn't win at least one playoff game. But we were really coming together at the end of the regular season so we're not going to let one loss deter us. We'll be back in 2008, fighting trim, and ready to show off any new scarves and such that we happen to accrue over the holidays.

Rods Evens It Out

That's right, ladies and gentlemen. If You Want My Bocce has evened its autumnal ledger at 3's.

Erik, Dani, Mitch, and I all rolled well and it showed in the results.

I especially loved Game 2 when we fell behind 3-0 before tying it 3-3. Then in the next frame, we had one point already scored with one ball left. The Mamalukes had a ball very close to our closest. But our other two balls were pretty close as well. Erik looked at Mitch and me and said, "I'm going to try something crazy here."

And he did. It was crazy good is what it was. Perhaps the best shot I've seen all season. With precision, he knocked the enemy ball clean out while keeping all four of our balls near the pallino. A four-spot! The end. Erik awarded himself the Hot Rod with his lovely last roll.

We started this season with an unbelievable amount of strife, tension, and anxiety. Now we are cruising. Unfortunately, we don't play again until December. Oh well, Rod will be ready. He's always ready.

Season Record With Rock On: 3-0
Season Record With Dancey Dance On: 0-3

Team Rod on the March

Team Rod, riding high after finally winning for the first time this season, took on old rivals Boccelism last Monday night.

We went in at 1-3 and the former four-time champs went in at 1-2. Someone was going to go home sad.

Pre-game conference from the "Lisms."
Game 1
Dave and me
SHR and Erik

SHR and Erik were solid the entire game. Dave and I were a bit spotty though. Of our first two frames, we only had two good rolls between the two of us. But the two good rolls put us in excellent position and we scored a point in each frame. I had a good feeling about the match based on getting two points on the strength of only two good rolls out of eight.

We took a commanding 5-0 lead. But then Boccelism began the comeback. The closest they got was 6-5 before we put the hammer down and won 7-5.

Game 2
Dave and me
Dani and Erik

This one wasn't so good. Boccelism was heartened by their late comeback and took it to us.
7-3 Boccelism

Measuring is easier with the help of a flashlight! Boccelism always come prepared.
Game 3
Mitch and me
SHR and Erik

Boccelism oozed confidence for Game 3. But everyone knows that ooze is one of Rod's favorite words so we weren't afraid.

We all rolled well. With a 5-2 Rod lead, the lads of Boccelism placed their ball closest to the pallino. We had two left though. I was hoping that SHR could knock their ball out and clear the way for Erik to finish them off. But she took matters into her own hands and superbly knocked their ball out while at the same time nudging another one of our balls a bit closer to give us two points! And the victory!

7-2 Rod!

I took a few movies over the course of the night but didn't get the best ones - including the stellar last roll from my honey. Plus I accidentally was taking them in the lowest quality setting. Oops. Rod can't always be on top of his game.

Worth watching anyway though.



SHR won the Hot Rod. Not that the Hot Rod award has made an appearance since September but we can all hope.

Season Record with Rock as the Soundtrack: 2-0
Season Record with Dancey Dance as the Soundtrack: 0-3

We beat Boccelism for the second straight time after losing our first four matches to them. We now have won two in a row (against the champions of the last six seasons!) to get to within sniffing distance of .500.

I was hoping to find an image like this of Rod marching.
Instead, this was the best I could do.
Also, congratulations to Cobra Kai for representing well by taking the first ever Bud Bocce Cup at Union Hall yesterday. Job well done.

May the Worst Team Win

That is what I said to the Coffee Flats Terrors before our match on Monday night.

We had stumbled to a pathetic 0-3 record this season. We had lost team members as the season progressed. And we had lost sight of the most important thing - listening to rock music while playing bocce is much more preferable to listening to techno while playing bocce.

There wasn't anything we could do about any of these things. Other than hope for the best against the defending champions, wish our former teammates well in their future endeavors, and hope against hope that honest to goodness rock & roll would be played on this night.

Game 1
Erik and Dani
Mitch and me

I was the weak link while everyone else was hot and we cruised to a satisfying 7-2 victory. We've blown 6-0 leads this season so I wasn't convinced we were going to actually win until the final point was scored.

Game 2
Erik and Dani
Mitch and Dave

Mitch and Dave were on fire! They put up a four-spot to start us off and then we bled the Terrors to death by scoring one point at a time prolonging their misery like a cat would torture a mouse or a Rod would torture a young blonde plaything in a much different manner if you catch my Rod innuendo and I'm sure that you do.
7-0 Rod!

Could this be the turning point? Maybe. Maybe not. But we continue to prove that for whatever reason and whatever personnel we throw out there, new Rodsters or old, we are a force to be reckoned with, at least, when we play the Terrors. We are their Sweet Meats (we are 0-5 against them) and we raised our record against the Terrors to an imposing 4-0 in our last four matches dating back to Summer '06.

The Video

Celebration Time!
Erik forgot to bring the Hot Rod award to the game. It hasn't mattered until this week because the Hot Rod award is only given to the MVP of the game if and only if we win. This week, the award would have been given to Dani for her stellar play. To be honest, everyone except me was a solid contender for the award.

No worries though because yesterday, Hot Tub Eric in Memphis e-mailed me this gem of a picture with the subject heading Hot Rod.
This is much much hotter than a belt buckle, don't you think?

Everyone has their rituals I suppose. Apparently, the Terrors have one for when they get shutout. I'm not quite sure what to make of this but I think Rod would be strangely excited by it.
Season Record With Rock On: 1-0
Season Record With Dancey Dance On: 0-3

Can't Anybody Here Play This Game?

If You Want My Bocce squared off against Watch Your Balls this past Monday. I wish that we hadn't.

We fell to an ignoble 0-3 on the season. What the fuck? We are just terrible, terrible, terrible. All 6 of us were terrible on Monday night.

Five of the six members of the squad kept swinging for the fences all night to do something great. Instead, there were a lot of whiffs. Yes, there were a couple of nice doubles which were immediately followed by more strikeouts and more weak groundballs. Beth was the only member of the team to not hit the back wall at least once.

Watch Your Balls played well so no disrespect there at all. But we were abysmal. It was embarrassing how bad we were. We never forced them to make bad shots because we kept rolling hideous ones.

Game 1
Erik and Mitch
Beth and Dave
7-3 Watch Your Balls

2 of our points were scored because they gave them to us with an errant roll.

Game 2
Dani and Mitch
Dave and me
7-2 Watch Your Balls

At this point, we have to look deep within our hearts and see what we are truly made of. That is the beauty of sport.

"These are desperate times. We have to play like a desperate team. Maybe we can get lucky and get some help."

"This team has shown itself to be resilient. We needed wins the past two games and didn't get them. We need a win tomorrow."

The first quote is from Todd Helton. The second quote is from Clint Hurdle. Both were made after the Rockies lost their third in a row in mid September and were on the verge of having their season getting away from them. Since these quotes were uttered, the team has won 21 out of 22 and are headed to the World Series.

"We all feel terrible for ourselves as a team right now that we can't really close the deal. But we still have time. We're not giving in."

"It (the losses) will only make the champagne taste sweeter."

"We need to go out there and finish strong and dig down deep and really do some soul-searching because we're going to have to finish with a flurry."

The first two statements were uttered by Willie Randolph. The last one by David Wright. All there were made during the Mets disastrous last week of the season.

So what will it be? Will we be the Rockies or Mets? Can we right the ship? Or we will go down in an embarrassing blaze of defeats?

Statistically speaking, we are the worst team in the league right now. Our next match is against the best team in the league, our vaunted rivals, The Coffee Flats Terrors who will be out for my blood and the blood of the traitors in our midst.

But as Mitch pointed out, the Devil Rays seem to always beat the Yankees.

There is still plenty of season left to make Rod proud. Because right now, he's in hiding.

Urban Bocce, A Found Shirt, and Juggling

It has been a slow few weeks in Rod Land. Still reeling from our 0-2 start, we've been biding our time until our next match. We were supposed to play last week but the Notorious BRF have left the league having not even rolled one ball in anger all season. Oh well.

In the meantime, bocce fun still has been happening.

First, there was Urban Bocce '07!

Secondly, an odd Boccelism occurrence happened to SHR and me.

A couple of seasons ago, I proudly wore this shirt during yet another Boccelism march to the championship. If you notice, the shirt is way too big on me. Anyway, I appreciated the gift from Cobra Kai but the shirt was so damn big that I ended up not keeping it.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. SHR says to me as she is going through her laundry bag, "I didn't realize you still wore your 'Stop Boccelism' shirt. The laundromat put it in my bag." I was quite perplexed because I remember throwing out the shirt a number of months ago.

It only took me a moment to realize that this wasn't my shirt and that somehow our laundromat had given me someone else's "Stop Boccelism" shirt. How incredibly strange is that? What are the chances of this happening? Does my laundromat know I play bocce from washing my If You Want My Bocce shirt and got mixed up and gave me this shirt? Very very odd.

A few days later, SHR thinks she saw a Cobra Kai member in our neighborhood. The pieces are falling into place.

Notice how small the shirt is compared to my other one. If you are missing this shirt, don't fret any longer. Just let me know and I'll return it.
And finally, who knew that Mitch could juggle? Let alone juggle bocce balls? Check it out.

My team is going stir crazy. We need to get back on the court soon for something other than practice.

We Just Can't Beat the Sweet Meats, Part V

The less said the better. Game 1, we had a 6-0 lead and blew it.

Game 2, we sucked.

Game 1
Dani and Mitch
Erik and SHR
7-6 Meats

Game 2
Dani and Beth
Erik and me
7-3 Meats

The Hot Rod belt remains homeless two games into the season.

I've always liked the Sweet Meats but now that they've added some Phillies phans to the mix, I'm not as into this team. Yes, their theme song is still a reworked version of Meet the Mets but that might not be enough for me.

Not only do I have to put up with the Mets blowing their lead a little more each day to the Phillies but now I also have to put up with Phillies braggards badmouthing David Wright right behind me as I'm rolling?

All I have to say in the David Wright for MVP debate is this: David Wright might not be the best player in the league. But he never ever has ruined a frame of bocce by kicking the balls away with three balls left to play in the manner that the Jimmy Rollins touting Phillies fan did during this match. No, that would be more of a Jose Reyes move.

The only solace I can take in this loss is that we went from being absolutely terrible in the first match (except for Mitch) to an overall level of mediocre play in this one.

Season Record: 0-2

A movie of Dani's first roll as Rod.

Things Can Only Go Up From Here

After the controversy comes the games.

Unfortunately, Monday night's game didn't treat us so well.

Game 1
Beth and Erik (check out the Rod belt! in the picture and the movie of his first Rod roll.)
SHR and Mitch

Um, we sucked.
7-1 ODB

Game 2
Beth and Erik
Mitch and me

Much better. Much much better. Mitch kicked much ass.
7-0 Rod

Game 3
I was planning on putting SHR back in for the third game. But she liked what she saw in the Game 2 squad so she told me not to put her back in and we stayed the course.

I had a nice roll to start the game going deep. ODB couldn't get closer and spent all 4 balls. Mitch rolled the second and third balls and we took a quick 3-0 lead. Mitch remained on fire! I got way too conservative and didn't get us an opening four-spot.

When it got back to Mitch and me, Rod still had a 3-2 lead. Mitch blew us all away again with an incredible roll right on the pallino. With their three remaining rolls, ODB couldn't do anything. My first roll was not good but my second got us a point. Mitch finished the frame with one more nice roll to give us a three-spot and a 6-2 lead. Still, I kicked myself for not getting us a four-spot.

Then ODB scored three more points on the strength of a really nice last roll and all of a sudden things were scary. Still we still held a 6-5 lead.

Unfortunately, my not so good play continued while at the same time, Mitch's dominant play came to a conclusion.

ODB led off by going midrange and putting their first ball close to the pallino. Not that close but pretty close. Mitch started off and split the uprights! Right between the two balls, right to the back wall. I tried to knock the ODB ball myself which was a bad play on my end. I, too, hit the back wall. What was I thinking? Why was I so aggressive? When the play called to be aggressive earlier, I was too conservative. And now that I needed to be conservative and just get us close, I fucked up royally. Rod, I'm sorry for letting you down. Because I did.

My next roll was better but not close enough. Mitch had the last roll and again, he couldn't get closer. This left ODB in the enviable position of having three rolls to get one more point and take us down. They only needed one. Ouch.

7-6 ODB

This was a tough, tough loss. One of the most disappointing regular season losses I can think of in recent memory. But it's all good. We're getting to know each other as a team. We've got plenty of time to get better. The fact that we were as close as we were with pretty much only one good player on the night is encouraging.

But the unforgiving schedule doesn't get easier. We face the Sweet Meats in our next match. We better gel real quick. And we need to remember the Rod philosophy of playing within ourselves and not trying to do crazy ass shit unless the situation dictates. In the season opener, I was the one who forgot our cardinal rule. But I promise to remember real quick. Onwards and upwards, Rod style! Yow!

Season record: 0-1

The Story of How Sweet Touch Joined If You Want My Bocce

At the conclusion of the 2007 summer season, Rodsters Mike and Sarah decided to take a break from bocce. This opened the door for Sweet Touch. I asked him if he wanted to join our team since it had been discussed earlier back when the Terrors were deciding whether or not to stay on Saturdays or move to Mondays.

The Terrors also were up to 10 members and we only had 6 so the numbers made sense for a switch.

After a few days of contemplation, Erik decided to leave things up to fate and made a pronouncement.

Bob Dylan Loves Rod

SHR and Bob have something to share.