An Unhappy Recap in Texts and E-Mails

In the last game of the regular season Team Rod faced off against a team that had only one win all season - against Rod.

This summer has been a trying one for Rod. Too much blow and not enough rolling.

I couldn't make it to the game but Sean kept me posted through the magic of the satellites in the sky.




The next day, the sadness mixed with relief.

Sean sent the team an e-mail after finding out that we were tied for first on Saturday:
Wow. Too bad the Mets can't get this sort of competition. 6-4 and first? Christ! I will also take this moment to apologize to my teammates for my performance last night. If you need a recap, you can feel free to ask those that were there, including Balgavy, Ezra and Jamie, each wearing a smirk and giggling like school children. We not only let ourselves down, but Rod was let down. As was the game of bocce. I may never recover.

To which Sweet Touch responded with poetry:
Day 1 of the season starts next Saturday, everything else was just passing time.

Rebecca wrote:
I agree. Everything else was just practice. EXCEPT for when I played the best bocce of my life last night. I'm going to go ahead and count that.

Jim brought up raunchiness, the way Rod likes it.
You need to think more like Rod in the photos where he is wearing a speedo: no shame.

SHR wrote:
Yeah, not to steal your thunder Sean, but there are been many many epic collapses for Team Rod. It's what makes us Team Rod.

Sean was sufficiently cheered up:
Wow, look at this outpouring of shame. Maybe Rod is my team for good reason. Not only do I choke under pressure and allow amazing leads vanquish but I also stage ridiculous acts of violence over losses. But nothing close to Sujan's story. I need to look for that hole now. So exciting! Never have I been more proud to play for Rod.

The real season starts tomorrow!

Summer Season x 5 Games.

Alright, whatever, Rod's over apologies. It's time to fill you in on the season so far. So what if I'm unable to keep my drinking in check? So what if I have to write this post at the studio because as soon as I get home, I can't function through the gin fog? So what if I can't be trusted around heavy machinery? Who needs heavy machinery?

So here's the deal, I post a photo of the score, tell you a quick bit about the game, move on. I've got five to get through here, give me a break.

vs. Solid Gold.

So the thing I remember about this game is that Sweet Touch knew the guy on the team. They were rookies. They were better than we expected.

Also, it was the same day as Dr. Booze's farewell party. Which was epic. But back to the game, we won.

vs. The Mo I Bocce.

These guys were also rookies. They were also better than expected. They are incredibly friendly and delightful to play against. Also, we beat them. Always nice.

Oh, and there were an insane amount of kids in the bar. Having birthday parties. In the bar. Yep.

And it was a double header. This was game one. Game two...

vs. The Lassos.

I remember that girl from Gossip Girl, Blake Lively, was in the bar during this match. People flocked to her and her small dog. How did this happen? Didn't they realize that Rod Stewart himself was in the house? How dare they?

We must have been tired because after three hours of bocce that fine Saturday, we lost to The Lassos. Another team of rookies. It was shameful.

vs. Count Boccula.

Yep. We lost to a team named Count Boccula. And they were, guess what... rookies!!!

To be fair, Sweet Touch was crushingly hungover (who does he think he is, Rod?) and Dirty Weekend's little brother Jason, a rookie of our own for once, filled in as our fourth. It didn't help. Rod folded like balsa wood under the pressure and walked home, head hung in shame. Count Boccula...

vs. The Mo I Bocce. Again.

Yes, it's been that long. I missed that many posts. We played The Mo I Bocce once again this past Saturday. Again, we beat them. Here's an artistic version of the above photo:

Sexy, right? It reminds me of myself in the 70's. I miss those days.

Also, for this game, good ole' Jim Flood joined us. And he took some snazzy photos, like the one up top. And the one below this here sentence: