One Victory Away from An Undefeated Regular Season!

Rod goes 7-0. Mitch does the telling. And for the record Mitch, we played Tarrytown Surprise.

For my first write-up ever, I'm embarrassed to report that I don't remember the name of the team we played - but I do know that they seemed like nice people and one guy in particular made a pretty amazing shot at one point. That said, they needed to recruit a stranger from the bar to be their fourth player, and it's no secret that Rod intimidates and manipulates strangers like no one else (I'm sorry but I'm out of milk and coffee; Never mind, sugar, we can watch the early movie").

Game one seemed to go very quickly - I remember Rebecca and Beth rolling particularly well from the top of the court. I stunk in game two, missing an entire cluster of balls in the middle of the court to hit the back wall for the third time in my first four shots and contribute mightily to a swift defeat. But game three saw Rod claw back and take control to keep the prospects of an undefeated season alive.

For the record, I also thought our team was particularly well-dressed tonight - Jim was wearing a sweatshirt I hadn't seen before, Erik was wearing a very fetching yellow sweater, and I believe I heard Beth complement Rebecca's sweater more than once. It was aces all around, and another one for the win column. On the season, we now have as many victories (7) as Rod has children. Odds are high that both numbers will continue to rise.

Friends, Foes and Terrible Grades

Dudes. Did you SEE Rod on Dancing with Stars?? Me neither, but check out that suit jacket!



Some other really great stuff has happened with Rod since last we spoke. Let's break it down.

Everyone knows that Rod has no natural predators in the wild (oh, what, TIGERS? Please!). In fact, he doesn't even like to have enemies. However, sometimes it's necessary. Rod stared down one of the greatest threats that man has ever known. The Wildfowl.

In FACT, Rod dislikes having enemies so much (especially when his enemies are usually friends, but for the purpose of competition must hate each other for a 1.5 hour period every few seasons), he had to dismantle the competition in two frames. Oh, hello 5-0, how about you come back to my dressing room?



Everyone needs a break between games. Below you can see Otis being rocked to sleep by the knowledge that Sean was mere DAYS away from shaving that beard off.



Then it was back to business. Rod had to face down a crew known only as "F-". But Rod wasn't fooled. Rod knows all about intentionally lowered expectations for purposes of subterfuge. Haven't you seen his children on reality TV? So, we approached our opponent with careful study and an air of cautious elegance.

By that I mean, Dan rolled with a BABY attached to him!



The F-'s were also taken down in two, as we all wanted to go home and bed our new ladyfriends, 6-0.



Just reach out and touch me, 6-0. Just reach out and touch me.

The Last Two Weeks in Rod News

1. Rod tore it up on Leno.
2. Team Rod beat Watch Your Balls in 2 games to run their season record to 4-0.

3. Team Rod discovered the best blog on the interweb.

4. Rod's new LP drops tomorrow.
5. Make sure to catch Rod on Kimmel later in the week.

It's a glorious time to be Team Rod right now.

Does Beating a Team Named Arthur Boccerelli & The Happy Days Atone for Losing to Joanie Loves Bocce in the Final 4 a Few Seasons Ago?

Probably not. But who cares about the past? Rod is now 3-0 this season!

If You Want My Bocce: Fonz's Dream Rod

Team Rod vs. Boccelism

An 8 pm start time at Floyd usually means 8:45 or later, right? Especially when it is supposed to be the third game of the night.

So I was surprised to get a call from Jim at 8:03 stating that the game was about to start and he was the only member of the squad who was actually there. Shit! I was getting ready to leave when I got his call. I hopped on my bike and pedaled as fast as I could through downtown Brooklyn. A forfeit is not the way Rod wants to go out.

I pedaled like I've never pedaled before.

Game 1
I arrived to Floyd out of breath and ready to roll. Lucky for me, it was my turn to roll. Perfect timing.

We took a 4-0 lead but in Rod style gave it back. Two 3 spots to the Lism didn't help matters. We lost 7-5.

Game 2
With the score tied at 2, we were handed a golden opportunity to put up a 4 spot which is unheard of against Boccelism. I was in disbelief. But I was in even more disbelief when we couldn't capitalize and only scored two.

No matter. We still won. It just took longer.

Game 3
Jim took over.

In the final frame, we each had one ball left but they had the point.

That is they had the point until Jim went to town. Lism missed and we had the victory!



It was our first victory against Boccelism since November 2007. And it felt nice.

With two games down, we are feeling good. After two seasons in Saturday purgatory, we are back with the cream of the crop on Monday nights. We have already vanquished the team that ended our summer season and now the six time champions.

Could this season finally belong to Rod?

Season Record: 2-0

Three Heartthrobs

Last Monday

This heartthrob died.

This heartthrob stunned the tennis world.

This heartthrob took care of business.
Team Rod over Gowanus Iguanus in 3.

Season Record: 1-0

Rod Tastes Defeat Yet Once Again

Summer Playoffs

It started off well. I was at home rooting on Rod from my couch. We were playing the Holy Bocce Balls, Batman! Um, yeah.

Sean kept me up-to-date on what was going on. I paid him back by explaining the difference between a match, a game, and a frame.



And then Rod finished them off.


I biked over for our final 8 match against the always tough Gowanus Iguanas.

Dave had to leave so I kept him informed.

But we couldn't finish them off! It was so frustrating. It was typical Rod. We started Game 3 strong by taking a 4-0 lead. Then they came back to tie it before we took a 6-4. As mentioned in my text with Dave, we had them down to their last point. But they made a great shot to take the point. 6-5 us.

In the next frame, they tied us at 6.

In the final frame of the match, Mitch made a great shot and things looked great for us. They missed on the next two tries. They were down to their last shot. And the same guy who made the clutch shot earlier did it again!

We had one ball left. Erik tried to smash but missed. Victory was not Rod's. Again.

Not sure why I even needed to text this to Dave since I'm pretty sure he heard the cheering from the always quite vocal Iguanas while sitting in his apartment a few blocks away.


When I told SHR what happened, she said, "It seems like the other team always makes some miraculous shot to beat us at the end."


The next weekend The Wildfowl took their third championship. Congratulations turkeys!

This season, Rod heads back to Monday nights. Can we keep up our 8 game winning streak against them? Or now that they have changed their team name, have things changed?

And most importantly, how does team captain Sweet Touch feel about the Wildfowl victory considering the stated reason he left the squad back during the contentious autumn of '07 was because he wanted to have the most championships of anyone amongst the two rival squads? Now we have to win this season just for him to tie.

Bring on the fall!

Season Record: 7-5