Rod Tastes Defeat Yet Once Again

Summer Playoffs

It started off well. I was at home rooting on Rod from my couch. We were playing the Holy Bocce Balls, Batman! Um, yeah.

Sean kept me up-to-date on what was going on. I paid him back by explaining the difference between a match, a game, and a frame.



And then Rod finished them off.


I biked over for our final 8 match against the always tough Gowanus Iguanas.

Dave had to leave so I kept him informed.

But we couldn't finish them off! It was so frustrating. It was typical Rod. We started Game 3 strong by taking a 4-0 lead. Then they came back to tie it before we took a 6-4. As mentioned in my text with Dave, we had them down to their last point. But they made a great shot to take the point. 6-5 us.

In the next frame, they tied us at 6.

In the final frame of the match, Mitch made a great shot and things looked great for us. They missed on the next two tries. They were down to their last shot. And the same guy who made the clutch shot earlier did it again!

We had one ball left. Erik tried to smash but missed. Victory was not Rod's. Again.

Not sure why I even needed to text this to Dave since I'm pretty sure he heard the cheering from the always quite vocal Iguanas while sitting in his apartment a few blocks away.


When I told SHR what happened, she said, "It seems like the other team always makes some miraculous shot to beat us at the end."


The next weekend The Wildfowl took their third championship. Congratulations turkeys!

This season, Rod heads back to Monday nights. Can we keep up our 8 game winning streak against them? Or now that they have changed their team name, have things changed?

And most importantly, how does team captain Sweet Touch feel about the Wildfowl victory considering the stated reason he left the squad back during the contentious autumn of '07 was because he wanted to have the most championships of anyone amongst the two rival squads? Now we have to win this season just for him to tie.

Bring on the fall!

Season Record: 7-5

An Unhappy Recap in Texts and E-Mails

In the last game of the regular season Team Rod faced off against a team that had only one win all season - against Rod.

This summer has been a trying one for Rod. Too much blow and not enough rolling.

I couldn't make it to the game but Sean kept me posted through the magic of the satellites in the sky.




The next day, the sadness mixed with relief.

Sean sent the team an e-mail after finding out that we were tied for first on Saturday:
Wow. Too bad the Mets can't get this sort of competition. 6-4 and first? Christ! I will also take this moment to apologize to my teammates for my performance last night. If you need a recap, you can feel free to ask those that were there, including Balgavy, Ezra and Jamie, each wearing a smirk and giggling like school children. We not only let ourselves down, but Rod was let down. As was the game of bocce. I may never recover.

To which Sweet Touch responded with poetry:
Day 1 of the season starts next Saturday, everything else was just passing time.

Rebecca wrote:
I agree. Everything else was just practice. EXCEPT for when I played the best bocce of my life last night. I'm going to go ahead and count that.

Jim brought up raunchiness, the way Rod likes it.
You need to think more like Rod in the photos where he is wearing a speedo: no shame.

SHR wrote:
Yeah, not to steal your thunder Sean, but there are been many many epic collapses for Team Rod. It's what makes us Team Rod.

Sean was sufficiently cheered up:
Wow, look at this outpouring of shame. Maybe Rod is my team for good reason. Not only do I choke under pressure and allow amazing leads vanquish but I also stage ridiculous acts of violence over losses. But nothing close to Sujan's story. I need to look for that hole now. So exciting! Never have I been more proud to play for Rod.

The real season starts tomorrow!

The Double "Trouble" Header

That's right. Two games. Same teams both games. Trouble.

Especially with an incomplete line-up. After a near forfeit, we were handed down a gift from the gods, Jeff from The Mo' I Bocce, or as we like to call him, "Sweet Touch." Wink!

So "Sweet Touch" Jeff, together with Dan, Becca and Sean, ventured into the first of two matches against Joanie Loves Bocce (it happened to be their second of three games that day and the captain's third of four, yeesh). They tried not to look out to the bright, beautiful Brooklyn Saturday that they were missing. I let them know that while they were stuck inside, playing game after game of bocce, Rod had already been to the Flea, the Farmers' and kissed Bonita farewell that day. But then we're gloating assholes, so whatever.

Oh, right, the game. We won the first. And, in typical Rod style, got cocky and lost the second. It was tooth and nail, or more appropriately, tooth and measuring tape the entire showdown. Seriously, about 30 shots were painstakingly measured by the captain, who maybe should change career paths and go into carpentry. Or a job at Home Depot.

This was the last weekend of the regular season, and it left us with a 6-3 record. However, we would have one final, memorable, tragic make-up game ahead of us. And we'll allow Dan to tell that story at a future date. Stay posted, it's a doozy.

Rod Loves Visitors From Olympia, Washington

Team Rod has had a difficult time fielding a team this season.

For our 8/1 match, we turned to an out-of-town guest Shawn. She kicked ass, Rod style.



Her thoughts on the match (as ghostwritten by her boyfriend Adam who was 3,000 miles away during the match) --
i showed up to hang out and drink a few beers, but i ended up leading the team to the greatest upset in the history of brooklyn bocce. i was pounding forties like there was no tomorrow, just trying to max and relax and kick back and enjoy the ambience. but when 3 members of my friend's team could not show due to a wicked bungee jumping accident, i was called out of the bullpen to give my all for victory. my hands were shaky at first considering this was the first time that i had played competitive bocce in some time. but i soon gathered my steel and started knocking the bocce ball down. a hooper there, a leaner there, i was on fire and could see nothing but the ball and the target. there were no words exchanged, no pleasantries, but there was an unspoken bond between team and balls that could not be interrupted for anything. soon enough the rival team was dispatched and we all celebrated with some champagne coolies.

Victory

Rod Does Some Soul Searching

There used to be a day when Rod would get invited to every secret event and hip gathering in every port from NYC to Shanghai and all points in between.

But it has recently come to his attention that there are some secret dumpster pool parties going on in Brooklyn. So secret that Rod wasn't even invited.

He gets that - maybe the organizers didn't think he'd want to attend so they simply saved him the awkwardness of having to politely demur. To be honest, swimming in a pool made out of a dumpster isn't exactly the same as doing lines from Rachel Hunter's bumhole, now is it?

But then he took a look at this picture and spied something.

That's right - a bocce court!

Everyone knows that if there is any sort of fun bocce going on anywhere in the world, Rod wants to know. He is devastated that he was not invited and now wonders if he has put out one too many Songbook collections to be considered hip enough to be invited to these kinds of events.

It is a sad day for Rod but he promises to take it out on our opponent this Saturday. Watch out Solid Gold!

Speaking of Solid Gold ...

Summer Season x 5 Games.

Alright, whatever, Rod's over apologies. It's time to fill you in on the season so far. So what if I'm unable to keep my drinking in check? So what if I have to write this post at the studio because as soon as I get home, I can't function through the gin fog? So what if I can't be trusted around heavy machinery? Who needs heavy machinery?

So here's the deal, I post a photo of the score, tell you a quick bit about the game, move on. I've got five to get through here, give me a break.

vs. Solid Gold.

So the thing I remember about this game is that Sweet Touch knew the guy on the team. They were rookies. They were better than we expected.

Also, it was the same day as Dr. Booze's farewell party. Which was epic. But back to the game, we won.

vs. The Mo I Bocce.

These guys were also rookies. They were also better than expected. They are incredibly friendly and delightful to play against. Also, we beat them. Always nice.

Oh, and there were an insane amount of kids in the bar. Having birthday parties. In the bar. Yep.

And it was a double header. This was game one. Game two...

vs. The Lassos.

I remember that girl from Gossip Girl, Blake Lively, was in the bar during this match. People flocked to her and her small dog. How did this happen? Didn't they realize that Rod Stewart himself was in the house? How dare they?

We must have been tired because after three hours of bocce that fine Saturday, we lost to The Lassos. Another team of rookies. It was shameful.

vs. Count Boccula.

Yep. We lost to a team named Count Boccula. And they were, guess what... rookies!!!

To be fair, Sweet Touch was crushingly hungover (who does he think he is, Rod?) and Dirty Weekend's little brother Jason, a rookie of our own for once, filled in as our fourth. It didn't help. Rod folded like balsa wood under the pressure and walked home, head hung in shame. Count Boccula...

vs. The Mo I Bocce. Again.

Yes, it's been that long. I missed that many posts. We played The Mo I Bocce once again this past Saturday. Again, we beat them. Here's an artistic version of the above photo:

Sexy, right? It reminds me of myself in the 70's. I miss those days.

Also, for this game, good ole' Jim Flood joined us. And he took some snazzy photos, like the one up top. And the one below this here sentence: